sad thing

be ready for the meltdown.

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I saw you... you in me

I saw you... here in me

It's so sad… saddest thing...

thursday muse-day

muse (as a verb)

Definition: think about, dream

Synonyms: be lost in thought, brood, build castles in air, chew over, cogitate, consider, contemplate, deliberate, feel, meditate, moon*, mull over, percolate, ponder, puzzle over, reflect, revolve, roll, ruminate, speculate, think, think over, turn over, weigh

Antonyms: ignore, neglect

muse (as a noun)

- the goddess or the power regarded as inspiring a poet, artist, thinker, or the like.

- the genius or powers characteristic of a poet.


i am both..
i am musing right now, about nothin (& sometimes nothin means everything)..
and i am in deep need of a muse..
oh well.




Left of the Middle - Natalie Imbruglia

my absolute song

Opaline - Dishwalla

summer dies here and so could I
somewhere underneath
where the ground is made of stars
and everything unclean
your opaline is everything I see
your opaline brings me to my knees

summer dies here and so could I
somewhere underneath
so much like the ones in and on my skin
and somewhere in between
this opaline is everything I see
your opaline brings me to my knees

without you I am nothing
without you I can't believe
this gilded place has everything
but this comfort is not what it seems
it is not what it seems
in between is everything I need

your opaline is everything I see
this opaline brings me to my knees
your opaline brings me to my knees

spolarium

after hours sitting..
trying to keep myself busy, trying to think something worth thinking,
trying.trying.haay... trying to make sense...

I...have given up. FINE! sabi ko nga continuation to nang kahapon..

Tuesday is 'what's left of Monday'! (live with it!)


when I simply don't make sense...
I love to hear this song...
why???
kse hindi ko rin naiintindihan ang ibig sabihin ng kantang to.
it simply makes me feel good!

Eraserheads makes it worthwhile...somehow :)

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tribute to friends

'i can never explain myself, my friends understand,
the rest won't believe me anyway.'

someone told me that i think of others first more than myself..
somehow, it felt wrong.. i should be loving myself more than anyone.
but then i realized..finding my self-worth is 'me' being selfless.
i come to love myself more when i know i'm extending love to someone.

'we are responsible to one another'

for friends i lost.
friends i missed.
and friends i found. i kept.

thank you.




(excerpt from Across the Universe movie)


With A Little Help From My Friends - Beatles

What would you do if I sang out of tune
would youstand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song
and I'lltry not to sing out of key.

Oh..
I get by with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I gethigh with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I'm gonnatry with a little help from my friends.

What do I do when my loveis away,
does itworry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day,
are yousad because you're on your own?

No..
I get by with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I gethigh with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I'm gonnatry with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could itbe anybody?
I want somebody to love.

Would you belivee in a love at first sight?
Yes, I'mcertain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can'ttell you but I know it's mine.

Oh..
I get by with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I gethigh with a little help from my friends.
Mm, I'm gonnatry with a little help from my friends.

LSS (Last Song Syndrome)..out of nowhere

i woke up this morning,humming...'kung ako na lng sana ang yong minahal..' (by Bituin Escalante)..

HUH?!?!!!!

did something just happened last night that i did not know about? was it my subconscious mind? did i have a specific dream that resulted to me, singing a song for the heart-broken? am i just making fun of my 'other' self?

haaay..probably? might be? possible? you know.

i for one, would never be seen naturally playing this song. i loved the artist and the melody is okay, but no. 'thank you' but it would not be a part of my playlist.. i had never been a fan of a mushy love song.

but.but.but...out of nothing to do this friday..i will dare myself to make this unusual behavior (this morning) a bigger deal to make sense out of it...somehow.i hope. just for the fun of it:)

okay..Google search...kung ako nalang sana lyrics....

(goodluck...i really told myself silently)

Heto ka na naman
Kumakatok saking pintuan
Muli naghahanap ng makakausap
At heto naman ako
Nakikinig sa mga kwento mong paulit-ulit lang
Nagtitiis kahit nasasaktan ...

(here you are again
knocking on my door
looking for someone to talk to
and here i am
listening to your old stories
enduring even e'm hurting)

(goose bumps starting...did i just translate it in english???)


Ewan ko bakit ba hindi ka pa nadadala
Hindi ba't kailan lang nang ika'y iwanan nya
At ewan ko nga sa 'yo
Parang balewala ang puso ko
Ano nga bang meron siya
Na sa akin ay di mo makita ...

(i don't know why you haven't gotten tired of it
and i thought she just left you
i don't really know with you
i feel i was never important
what does she has
that you cannot find in me...)

(ek!! yawning!!!)

Kung ako na lang sana ang iyong minahal
Di ka na muling mag-iisa
Kung ako na lang sana ang iyong minahal
Di ka na muling luluha pa
Di ka na mangangailangan pang humanap ng iba
Narito ang puso ko
Naghihintay lamang sa iyo, oh-oh-oh ...

(if i was the one you loved
you wouldn't have to be alone
if i was the one you loved
you would not cry again
you wouldn't look for anything else
here is my heart
waiting for you...)

(OMG! my eyes are drooling..tumitirik na ang mata ko!)

Heto pa rin ako
Umaasang ang puso mo
Baka sakali pang ito'y magbago
Narito lang ako
Kasama mo buong buhay mo
Ang kulang na lang
Mahalin mo rin akong lubusan ...

(i'm still here,
hoping for your heart
it might change in time
i'm just here
waiting for you to love me..)


(......zzzzzz...tulog or did i just had a stroke!)


haaaay..and i thought i wouldn't be able to finish translating..heartattack!
i'm just thinking...if it happened in my dreams... i do not think i will be able to survive it, binangungot na siguro ako!!!
but obviously i survived!
now the sense out of this??? hmmmm....
i won the dare!! was able to finish the song..even through reading.
and.and.and..
i just realize..maybe i'm stronger enduring things when, unconscious.
hmmm...now i know what to do!!! can't deal with 'suffering' moments? go to bed and sleep!

p.s.
Kung ako na lang sana, oh-oh-oh..
(if only i was the one....)

yikeeeee!!!!
'inaasar ko lang ang sarili ko'...
yes i do that most of the time..teasing the 'other me' ...hehehehe


para sa wala!! :) zzzzzz....

U2? me too!!

and i thought i won't survive this loooong quiet day....few.more.mi-nutes! yes.....



thanks for a friend's post.

this awakened and filled my empty mood.... :)

http://www.youtube.com/user/U2official

25 things for today

i have posted this under notes on my fb account last
February 20, 2009.

something to keep me busy and sane..

25 things...i can think of.. :)



1. my name "orpha" came from the bible..
Ruth 1:4













2. i have a hard time crossing the overhead bridge..i just discovered that i have fear of heights when i got to Singapore



3. sometimes i get surprised when i heard an unfamiliar nice song and started singing then realized i knew the lyrics..strange but cool!!!

4. i grew up in loud live music,late night events, the smell of booze and smokes the night and morning after, all the chaos and fun on a regular day in a bar.. my parents owned a bistro that had been our 2nd home since i was 8 til i turned 16. i still missed it today!!!




5. one glass of water on the side table and clean cold toes before i slump to bed! that's S.O.P.!










6. love my weekends! specially going to BAtam! It's like coming back to my hometown in the Philippines, Bataan (it even sounds like it!), the ferry ride, the sea and mountains, the quiet atmosphere..everything.. it's like chilling out on my backyard, just wish i have the real cable ski parkat the back of my house in the Phils. aggh! heaven!!!




7. reading is my life and writing is my one true love!




8. wakeboarding is an intoxicating bliss!!
and yes i am an addict!





9. craves for porkchops.fried toasted porkchops!!! but can't have it now coz my teeth hurt!!damn braces!


10. proud to be a good cook..my secret ingredient? TLC!!!


11. apathy.. is a very weird feeling right now..




12. have an awesome childhood!!!


the only thing i missed was to know how to ride the bike.


not too late, right?!





13. every given day at work..i still try to discover the "art" of AutoCAD!


14. sushi is the best comfort food ever!!! i badly want one right this very second! :)


15. MAY, please take me now!


can't wait for it..10-day vacation in the Phils.! yahoo!


(over and done with!!! one of the best trips i had! CWC and Boracay)



16. since college i was known to be the 'person to beat' during drinking sessions..i'm not an alcoholic..i just have a high-tolerance in alcohol..i can't help it, i guess it's genetic!my sister's better than me! haha..








17. i'm not a talker...i reserve my voice for better things to say, time is too precious to lose on empty words and gibberish statements.. we all are looking for that good conversation, right :)


18. i love having real friends around me, the one you can be just who you are..no explanations,no expectations, no pride, no questions asked..just you and me.. then it's okay:)


19. i don't really know how to swim... i'm just good in pretending..thank you, my ten-80 vest, for keeping me alive!










20. every day i look for a vocabulary word to know, atleast it's a piece of thought to learn each daymy word for the day is -


stu·pe·fy [stoo-puh-fahy)
–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy·ing. 1. to put into a state of little or no sensibility; benumb the faculties of; put into a stupor. 2. to stun, as with a narcotic, a shock, or a strong emotion. 3. to overwhelm with amazement; astound; astonish.
hhmmm...


21. can't wait for the day i come back to Pinas and settle... nothing compares to the life you have, feeling you're finally homeafter the strife and atlast 'something wonderful' has come to stay...








22. until now, i'm stil in denial that i won't be able to go to the Coldplay concert!!! sold-out in just one day! aaagh! i should have not slept all monday! but Greenday is coming...and John Mayer is starting his tour!!!! ooohh...

23. there's something in december that i love.. it's not just christmas and birthday, it's that feeling of excitement that you're getting near a turning point and surviving another one as always.. there goes a profound moment again!








24. here's the thing, in every new word each day..every morning i also get a doze of good lines to ponder...what i read today is -

'You lose yourself in the black, trying to find someone, anyone who really gets you.What you don't know, is that you've already found them. Stop looking. Start finding. You are more than the people and things you know. You are more than your memories. You are something beyond all this. But only you know what that is.'

double hhmmm...deep and emo...but makes total sense...


25. i blog...during office hours..nothing compares to the intensity it gives...the beauty of multi-tasking :)

slow dancing

it has been a dragging week..well it's not yet done i know, but for sure friday (which is tomorrow )will all be just the same... boredom is keeping me company once again. no matter how i try to kick it out my door. gawd, it cries back to stay with me. the only thing that i look forward to is the time to go home and bond with my bed..haaah.. the goodnight sleep is all that is exciting right now. no thoughts. no stress. no bore!!

i might sound like nothing is really happening with my life...
well i guess so..but i'm not worried...
as i believe and say it..'this' is just a 'phase'...






this is the mode i'm in..
i love John Mayer!
makes-me-feel-so-goooood....

101009

when you have good friends around you,

life seems easier..happier...worth living.

e ano pa if you have the craziest!!

same...with matching tumbling on the sides!!
and wasakan ng panga! (jawbreak)

hahaha...love these guys..

edgar's birthday. oct10'09. 33 leithe road.

it wasn't just a friends' gathering.

'twas a family reunion. :)

1001-0509

I was back in Pinas last weekend..fun fun fun!!!It was my lil' sister's 12th birthday..
and I was the surprised big gift for her!!! hihi..

(excuse me, hindi ako yung katabi ng sister ko ha!)

my birthday gift to everyone!!! (i've missed the rest's birthdays!) now it wii party time!!

Friday was a trip back to the farm.. Pepeng was already within the vicinity..nagbabadya ng malakas na ulan. but all was good coz i had the chance to try fishing with mom and gian..catching two big tilapia!!wohoo..not bad!! first time ko kayang mamingwit!!

Saturday was another trip to the farm. family day.. mega lunch eto sa kasagsagan ng bagyo!!

saw my dad's original handcrafted wooden furniture..goooood!!!

the rocking bench!! :)

the un-rocking bench...

(ang sososyal ng mga model!)

Sunday. after church we were supposed to go to Balanga City..but ended up in SM Pampanga..extended celebration of Lyra's bday.

we had fun trying masks na pang-welding. nagmuka kmeng mga robot...hehehe

and monday came again and it was time to go.. til next vacation!

best damn tours!!!

I've been to series of concerts and performances when I came to live in Singapore since
2006. Amazing International artists that completely rock my world!


First..

with Kuya Eric, ate Jo & Aida..
it was one of my dreams (to see Don Moen perform)!
it came true!

the Police.February 4, 2008.Singapore Indoor Stadium

with my sister (who flew from the Philippines just to see Sting!) and Edi.

...with Macky and Edi.Len and Ayi.

Brandon Boyd is a god :)

me, Edi...and Mig Ayesa :)

..i've fallen in love with Queen!

with my chaperons: shei and edi :)

yes, I am an Avril fan!

with shai & edi. memories of teen years! Basti Artadi and the rest were still playin' it best!!

Oasis..and the crazy gang!

Keane. an absolute sedative (my vicodine for the night).

...my best-est:badette, macky and edi. our birthday gift to macky..and first date with badette.

and more to come....

damn tours!!!

...but then...the times i've gone crazy missing these 'chance of a lifetime' events!!!

i totally forgot about the date. i just realized it the next day after the concert! darn!

i just discovered that lifehouse would be performing for one night only in an exclusive venue the day before the date! edi just heard it from the radio!! i've swept through everywhere i thought of finding a ticket but the big 2 words 'sold out!' was all i've got. i couldn't sleep that night!

macky and i were really planning for the big concert and were waiting for the online sale of tickets for weeks! i was not feeling well the day the tickets were out and decided to buy the next day and wait for macky's confirmation. but hell it was already sold out on the 2nd day!!!! i was so misearable! until the concert day itself i even planned to go to the venue to try my luck to get scalped tickets! i ended sulking in the office, pretending that i won't be able to go anyway due to overtime. i couldn't let it go until now!!! please come back!!

i am a big fan of lea salonga. of course 'tangkilikin ang sariling atin'!! i've been egging to go but it was a bad timing.

why? expensive, not their 'own-full-no doubt' concert and... sold-out! one day...i will see gwen rock the stage singing solid 'no doubt' songs!

help save lives

friend,

i know that most of you heard about the calamity that happened in our country (Philippines) about a week ago. it was devastating to know from the news we received through the cable tv, internet and from our loved ones back home. hundreds of lives gone in just a sweep of the deadly storm, thousands survived and millions affected. it was heartbreaking to know the facts but it was more grievous to realize it when i was actually there back home in my motherland and feeling the miseries that the typhoon left us.

'Bayanihan' started from the moment the rain poured on a month's worth of rain in 6-hrs, on Sept. 26, 2009. the worst is said to be over for now but reality is just about to sink in. now that the rains have stopped, rescue and rebuild/rehab mission are on-going. but still, many people are fighting for their lives and starting from scratch. nothing is enough when it comes to 'help'.

I, am just a '+ 1' count to the millions of 'one' all over the world who wants to extend a helping hand to our fellows. you can be one too.

your help is mostly appreciated may it be in donation, volunteering or prayers...

if you need more information on how to extend help, i am most welcomed to inform you. the links will help you as well.

http://ondoyrelief.multiply.com/
http://www.redcross.org.ph/#
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/09/27/09/tropical-storm-ondoy-how-you-can-help
http://helpondoyvictims.wordpress.com/

thank you for the time, friend. it means a lot.